Thoughts on Octopussy and Why India is like Dungeons and Dragons

As I've said, Octopussy was partially filmed in Udaipur, where we are staying now, and just about every rooftop restaurant here has a 7pm showing every night. You would think after 25 years the obsession would die out, but I assure you the hype is still here. And so, Brittany and I got as cozy as we could on the rooftop of Cafe Namaste, ordered a brownie and some chai and began the film. Of course, it is James Bond, but it is Roger Moore Jame Bond, which is kind of hard to watch at times. Though I haven't seen Octopussy in years, I certainly remember liking it a great deal; however, I couldn't hear a thing during the movie this time. The guy in charge of the restaurant would only turn it up a notch or two at anyone's request and it really didn't do a whole lot of good.

But we did get to see James Bond in Udaipur. First let me say, his arrival couldn't have been more stylish. Coming off the boat from Udaipur's famous lake to be greeted by an Indian comrade posing to be a snake charmer. This was 25 years ago too, so all the more pollution free. Bond's friend claims the snake charmer get-up was a bad idea because he's terrified of snakes, but I say it's a bad idea because snake charming doesn't really go on so much anymore, particularly not in these parts (still around in Calcutta). As the lake is full in the movie, I can only suspect it is during the tourist season, which is post-monsoon. The lake is empty now, as the dry season is at its peak just before the monsoon starts. I will concede that there may be a snake charmer or two during the tourist season.

Bond makes a quite amateur mistake or two rather. First he hitches a ride with an auto-rickshaw driver without settling on a price first, and then agrees to go to whatever hotel the rickshaw driver would take him to. Although there are no casinos in Udaipur, there is one in the movie, and it's a good thing Bond won his bet, because he's going to need compensation for his extra-pricey hotel room (as the rickshaw driver is getting a commission) and compensation for his overpriced rickshaw ride.

There's an auto chase scene throughout Udaipur, which is funny to anyone who has been to India, because aside from the wheelies the rickshaw keeps making, it's really not that out-of-the-ordinary. What is unordinary is how every token Indian, Middle-Eastern, and Asian stereotype is thrown into this scene. Yes, there's another snake charmer, a guy walking on hot coals, a man sleeping on a bed of nails, but what is missing are the annoying shop owners beckoning you, and as part of the chase scene takes place on foot, I was surprised there weren't a million rickshaw drivers begging him to ride with them in spite of the fact he had just gotten off a rickshaw and was in the middle of a fight. The weaponry throughout the scene is priceless, and I've seen much modern and medieval weaponry in my time in India, but I have yet to see a five pointed knife or much else that they used.

And later they end up at the Monsoon Palace (it's the palace the maharajah took refuge in during the monsoon; it's on top of mountain to avoid flooding), which isn't heavily guarded as they claim and is mostly a tourist site. But it's where the bad guys are hiding out, and Bond finds himself as the new target in what was a tiger hunt. Of course, the only tigers in this area are long extinct, but the maharajahs did hunt them by Tiger Lake, which is not so immediately outside of the Monsoon Palace. In this chase we encounter just about every conceivable specimen possible. Tiger, cobra, leach, elephant, crocodile, and well the list goes on. Bond stylishly dodges all of them.

After this point it just kind of got old as the sound was too low to understand what was happening. So we left. I still feel like I go the Udaipur Octopussy experience.

India is kind of like Dungeons and Dragons, or just about any role playing game as there always seems to be a quest, and you are constantly honing you India travelling skills. In India you learn: never trust anybody, always agree to a price beforehand, never pay upfront, never pay the original price (always talk them down), don't drink the water (don't even brush your teeth with it), and watch out for cow crap. Of course, these are things you know at first, but you find very quickly that putting them into practice is quite hard. You must always play the stern and mean type of person; otherwise you will get taken advantage of.

Remember that creepy guy I mentioned in yesterday's post? Well, we saw him again and he had the nerve to approach me. I told him we didn't trust him and he asked why. Of course, in America, you smile and pretend, but here, even if they know you are pretending, they will take advantage of that lie. Indians are thick skinned, so the straighter you give it to them more likely you are to get your point across. Padding the truth only makes things worse as it gives them hope you will weaken and give in. So, to his face I told him, "You only want money. We tell you we aren't buying art and all of the sudden you're no longer an artist but you want to take us somewhere else, some place that is not in the city where who-knows-what would happen to us" and as he started to rebut what I said, I simply said "Maybe you're a nice guy, but I don't trust you, I don't owe you an explanation, and you will leave us alone now." Before, when I simply said I wasn't interested in buying he still thought he had a shot and tried to milk me into going to look at sitars (allegedly), but when I came right out and said what was on my mind, I got the job done.

Brittany and I really have two sets of friends here. There are the two guys who work at the Art Village Art School. During tourist season, they don't sell art directly; however, they brought us into their store and simply told us "We are your friends, and we want to share our art with you. We don't normally sell directly, but because money is bad, we will sell directly. If you like what you see and you have the money, but if you don't like it or it is too much money, don't buy it. You can even think about it for a day or two and come back, but whether you buy or not you can always come here and have chai with us." And we did buy, and they invited us back for chai. And we checked prices in two different stores in Udaipur and you know what? Those two guys didn't rip us off. They were fair. We went back for chai and we shared music and talked for hours.

Then, there's a family next to our former hotel (we moved from Dream Heaven Guest House to Nukkad Guest House) and we made friend with them. Though the family has roots in jewelry (according to their caste), they are all artists. Their house serves as a small store (mostly just bottled water), art studio, and home. We bought a small amount of art from them, and Brittany had heena done through the girls the next day. We sat and talked and they fed us lunch yesterday which was delicious. They said we are welcome in their home anytime, and I think they meant it. We truly like them and they seem to like us a great deal as well.

Between both these sets of friends, we are linked to this city, knowing the shops owned by honest and good people and knowing where not to go.

Yesterday we went to the City Palace, which wasn't as great as it cost. Yesterday was the last day in a month-long yearly Hindu celebration. The bells rang well into the night and began again early this morning. Brittany and I weren't too happy about it. One thing is for sure, the Indian perception of annoying is very different from western thought.

I hope you read the two previous posts, as one was a good bit of important information about our whereabouts and goings. The other linked pictures. Since we're going to be at our hotel a while I'll try and post the numbers and contact info soon.